Catching up and 1st Year of Marriage Summary!

Oh, my gosh, it's July, which means it's been almost three months since I last wrote on this blog. I think it's safe to say I am a bad, bad blogger. Sorry for the absence. Here's a few things that have been going on since then:

May-June: Jesse and I were rehearsing for the local Spring Valley United Methodist Church's community performance of "The Music Man". This involved quite a bit of work, especially for Jesse who was Harold Hill (I was Ethel Toffelmier, a small but fun role). This also meant a lot of work for me, as I often helped him run lines late at night.

July: The month of all months! My amazing family came down to visit during the week of the show. It was wonderful to see them, though I felt bad that I couldn't spend more time with them! I was busy finishing painting the sets and with rehearsals and performances. Then, on June 8th, Jesse and I celebrated our ONE YEAR anniversary! We didn't have much time to celebrate then, because the following week was VBS at Woodcreek Church. It was my first time helping with VBS and I loved it! That Friday, Jesse and I were able to escape to Eureka Springs, AR, for a brief but relaxing anniversary get-away. And on Saturday, we celebrated my (gulp) 27th birthday!

So, hopefully all this is sufficient reason for not tending to the blog. To put it simply: I've been busy.

And now, onto the main subject, which is... 
"Hey, ya'll, I've been married for a year!"
Where I give you an honest summary of how this first year has been:

(Are you excited?)

 Going into your first year, you don’t know what to expect really. Half the people you talk to say that the first year of marriage was “blissful, fun and romantic”. The other half insists it was one of their hardest years as couple. (Looking back, I can see that it totally depends on the couple and their personalities). So, as we returned from our honeymoon, I hoped for the best but sort of planned for the worst.

I ended up being pleasantly surprised. We had a seriously great first year. Of course, occasionally we’ve had our little arguments. These usually happen because we are tired, hungry, or we are moving! The move to Richardson was stressful, and we ended up fighting more during that hellish week (about things like packing tape and where we should put his bureau). But, at least for this first year, for me 95% of the time it has felt like an eternal slumber party with your best friend, who just happens to be a man. The other 5% is comprised of the hard stuff. I will briefly touch on those:

• 2.5% of that 5% is the “ahh-ha, he’s a man and so he’s different” scenarios. These can range from unwanted or unwelcome manly hobbies such as flatulence or burping to more serious things like differences in thinking. I sort of thought Jesse would analyze, learn and understand things similarly to the way I do. False! We've gotten angry with each other a couple times when he insisted I give him “the big picture” while I was trying to do so by explaining lots of details lol. Turns out, women and men are just plain different. Fortunately, so far, we’ve been able to be patient with each other’s mental differences.

• 2% of that 5% is my own sin nature. I once heard that, “marriage is like a mirror that shows you all of your issues, all your sin and all your selfishness”. At the time, I thought something like, “well, isn’t that quaint”. Nope. It’s true. If you had any blissful misconceptions about how you were an angel prior to marriage, holy matrimony certainly brings that “gunk” to light. And what could be more holy than that? (I’m not being facetious here). Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another”. God designed marriage not just for happiness, pleasure or kids, but also as a tool to make us more like Jesus. So, anytime I’m being selfish and think “Jesse should do such-and-such and if he doesn’t, he’s not meeting my needs”, I get to examine if my expectations are right and holy… or if they are just plain selfish. Nine times out of ten, it’s me being selfish. Great. So, I get to sharpen Jesse and he gets to sharpen me. Pretty cool deal.

• 0.5% out of 5% is just because life is hard. It’s our first year, so we haven’t accumulated a whole lot of woes in that time. I’m sure within a few years the percentage will change and be higher. For now, life struggles were pretty okay. Things like my stuttering, jobs, occasionally family relationships, expenses, etc., can be difficult. I think it’s safe to say we’ve both enjoyed leaning on each other as well as God during those times. It’s nice to have your partner’s fresh perspective and their ability to be a sounding board when you need to vent or process.

Our young married's small group has been great for us as well. We've read several books on marriage, which have been full of valuable information. Also, it's been great to hang out with other couples in the same stage of life we find ourselves in. I like that no two stories are alike: some couples have/had a rough first year, some have a good one. This doesn't mean those with bad years are "doomed" or that those with good years will have great "easy" marriages (as if there is such a thing). I'm sure Jesse and I will have a bad year ... or tons... (ah!). We're just different enough, and I'm flawed enough that I know that I will probably end up punching him at some point (but, I'll be gentle, promise). I've heard the 3rd, 5th and 7th year are rough. All those prime numbers you know... proof that math is evil (ha). I think it just depends on the couple, plain and simple, and neither way is wrong or right.

So, I give this year an A. The only reason I don't give it an A+ is because I want to keep hope that other years will be just as good, if not better. I'm sure some years will be rough, but I wanna stay positive and go for that A+ at least one year. :) 

Love you, Jesse "Bear". Thanks for a great year! And here's to many more years- be they "good" or "bad". Sharing life with you is always good.