Tonight I am angry. You ladies will know why so I will just hint that it is "lady troubles" and leave it at that. Jesse knows that it is lady trouble time, and he keeps his distance. I like that- in fact, this is what I asked him to do (that and ply me with chocolate, which he has done), but then when I see him enjoying himself alone, it angers me. Ah, lady time. In my mind, I see a hulked-out Madeleine, ready to "Maddie smash". It's up to Jesse to find the perfect balance of "I love you and will cuddle you, but not so much that you feel smothered, and I will not do anything to make you feel annoyed". Poor man. Good thing this doesn't last long.
I will also blame my poor eating choices today on my lady time. Well, poor 'choice' rather. I did really well at lunch (blackened chicken salad) and even better at dinner (salmon, green beans, mushrooms filled with cheese/pepperoni), but for breakfast... when I went into the kitchen at work, there sat a box of donuts. I wasn't going to "go nuts" with the donuts, but then I saw a vanilla-icing donut with happy little sprinkles. Sprinkles, it turns out, must be my downfall, because I had devoured the entire donut before I even remembered the "low-carb" thing. Donuts are low carb... right?
On to the topic of tonight, which isn't what I promised in the last entry (shhh....). Does anyone else have mad quantities of creative projects constantly circling through their minds? I swear- subconscious artistic me must be a crazy person. One second, I am intent on painting a winter miniature for our first Christmas card. The next, I am convinced I need to paint my desk. But wait- wasn't I going to finish that stained glass project? No, not until I master the art of watercoloring portraits. I can do that in a single painting, right? But wasn't I going to try acrylics? No- first the Christmas card. Or maybe the desk... AHHH!
Are creative sides naturally this sporadically ADD, or is it just mine? If the creative psyche were as organized as the logical psyche, it would get much more accomplished. Or maybe if the logical side just agreed to HELP the creative side once or twice. I envision my Logical Psyche as a businessman, balding but brilliant, fantastically organized down to his days-of-the-week underpants. He does not want to associate with Creative Psyche, who, I'm sorry to say, looks and acts like a meth addict and just wants to create, be it on a canvas with oils or a wall with spray paint. If the two could just team up and help each other create/organize more together, well then, we'd be somewhere. Maybe we wouldn't be featured at the Louvre, but we'd at least have a finished piece of art, instead of a dozen works-in-progress.
Or maybe it isn't that Logical Psyche isn't trying to help; maybe he is helping with all his might, but he's simply not strong enough to help out his crazed friend. That seems like it could be true of me. It's a good thing I'm married to Jesse, who is very organized. Hopefully, he can keep me calm and rational when all I want to do is fingerprint, but I have to go to work. :)
(By the way, he's doing a good job. He's happily working on his new work iPad yet still giving me a sweet little smile every so often).
Okay, thanks for reading. This is now the end of whatever this post was about (it seems to be about messed-up lady emotions and artistic angst).
I should try to work on the Christmas card idea.
Or maybe I should paint my desk?
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Sunday, November 4, 2012
An Operatunity (hee hee)
It's been a nice weekend. Today's services went really well without anything eventful or disastrous happening. Things between Jesse and I have been nice and cuddly (*yes "cuddly" is the main adjective that springs to mind... it might be the happy fall weather!), and life continues to skip by at the usual pace. No slowing down, very few things to break up the monotony, no "breaks" (fall, spring, summer or otherwise) as I was accustomed to as a student. Adulthood continues to rear it's mature sarcastic face and say to my naivety: "Welcome to real life".
An interesting turn-of-events: I went to sing for vocal teacher at SMU. I was awfully nervous. It's intimidating enough to go sing for people when you ARE in-voice, so imagine how I must've felt walking into SMU- one of the snobbiest and, well, best schools around. I found a parking space (after 30 minutes, thank God I left early), and walked to the Fine Arts building, enjoying the familiar and seductive college scene. Barefoot students passed me, arms full of books, discussing literature and professors. In the music department, the sounds of violins and oboes wafted in the air... even their scales sounded perfect. Dang, I am out of my league. But I went to my appointment, prepared for a pretty big embarrassment, and instead was pleasantly surprised.
It's true; my German was rusty, my rhythms a little off, but my voice, surprisingly, was still there. I made my high notes. My tone was even. It felt like normal, like returning to riding a bike after a few years. That's not to say it was perfect- as the vocal teacher said, my larynx was a little high, which made for quite a bit of breathiness (hhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaahhhhh). But she seemed to like my voice, saying it was whimsical, pretty, youthful and energetic, very "french" (as in, 'would be good for french songs'), and that she thinks I am a soubrette or a light lyric soprano. When I sang, she nodded in approval and gave very positive feedback. After vocalizing me (warming up to as high as I could go- which was shockingly- still a E-flat- I thought I'd lost my top notes!), she said I have more notes there that I could achieve if I worked on it and worked on loosing my fear of high notes. Best of all: when I commented on how out-of-voice I was, she said, "No, you're not out-of-voice, you are simply out of practice. There's nothing wrong with your voice. There's no tension [I don't know about that... but, hey, ok!], your breathing is great, your french is perfect [!YAY!], you just need the icing on the cake". Thank you, John Brown University music department, for your hard work!
So, I now have a voice lessons with a wonderful teacher! We're going to work on tailoring my repertoire to be more soubrette-friendly. Currently, my repertoire is all over the map. This was great for undergraduate studies and I enjoyed singing those pieces. But some of those songs aren't a good fit for me. I love "Habanera", and loved the chance to sing it, but no one would ever hire me for the role of Carmen. I'm no mezzo. But Mozart operas, Handel, french songs, I can do. And apparently- new fact learned for the day- companies don't like to see variety on a musicians' resume. They like to see that you have a specific voice type and that you can sing it well. As she said: "People aren't very imaginative. It's up to you to tell them who you are and what you can do". Brilliant advice, huh? Pretty good for any career choice and interviewing situation.
Honestly, all that said, I don't know if I want a career in voice. I know I LOVE singing. I know I want to do these lessons. And, as Jesse said after he saw me directly after this audition, I "lit up like a firefly" when I told him about singing. But I'm going to wait before I decide if I want to get my masters. A bachelor's degree is expensive enough. My current loans are going to haunt me til into my late thirties (which is still far enough away that it is daunting). If I'm going to add more onto that bill, I have to be darn sure that this is the direction I want to go in AND that the Lord has for me (the second being more important).
Next week's episode: Discontentment. I'm excited. It's gonna be a doozy.
An interesting turn-of-events: I went to sing for vocal teacher at SMU. I was awfully nervous. It's intimidating enough to go sing for people when you ARE in-voice, so imagine how I must've felt walking into SMU- one of the snobbiest and, well, best schools around. I found a parking space (after 30 minutes, thank God I left early), and walked to the Fine Arts building, enjoying the familiar and seductive college scene. Barefoot students passed me, arms full of books, discussing literature and professors. In the music department, the sounds of violins and oboes wafted in the air... even their scales sounded perfect. Dang, I am out of my league. But I went to my appointment, prepared for a pretty big embarrassment, and instead was pleasantly surprised.
It's true; my German was rusty, my rhythms a little off, but my voice, surprisingly, was still there. I made my high notes. My tone was even. It felt like normal, like returning to riding a bike after a few years. That's not to say it was perfect- as the vocal teacher said, my larynx was a little high, which made for quite a bit of breathiness (hhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaahhhhh). But she seemed to like my voice, saying it was whimsical, pretty, youthful and energetic, very "french" (as in, 'would be good for french songs'), and that she thinks I am a soubrette or a light lyric soprano. When I sang, she nodded in approval and gave very positive feedback. After vocalizing me (warming up to as high as I could go- which was shockingly- still a E-flat- I thought I'd lost my top notes!), she said I have more notes there that I could achieve if I worked on it and worked on loosing my fear of high notes. Best of all: when I commented on how out-of-voice I was, she said, "No, you're not out-of-voice, you are simply out of practice. There's nothing wrong with your voice. There's no tension [I don't know about that... but, hey, ok!], your breathing is great, your french is perfect [!YAY!], you just need the icing on the cake". Thank you, John Brown University music department, for your hard work!
So, I now have a voice lessons with a wonderful teacher! We're going to work on tailoring my repertoire to be more soubrette-friendly. Currently, my repertoire is all over the map. This was great for undergraduate studies and I enjoyed singing those pieces. But some of those songs aren't a good fit for me. I love "Habanera", and loved the chance to sing it, but no one would ever hire me for the role of Carmen. I'm no mezzo. But Mozart operas, Handel, french songs, I can do. And apparently- new fact learned for the day- companies don't like to see variety on a musicians' resume. They like to see that you have a specific voice type and that you can sing it well. As she said: "People aren't very imaginative. It's up to you to tell them who you are and what you can do". Brilliant advice, huh? Pretty good for any career choice and interviewing situation.
Honestly, all that said, I don't know if I want a career in voice. I know I LOVE singing. I know I want to do these lessons. And, as Jesse said after he saw me directly after this audition, I "lit up like a firefly" when I told him about singing. But I'm going to wait before I decide if I want to get my masters. A bachelor's degree is expensive enough. My current loans are going to haunt me til into my late thirties (which is still far enough away that it is daunting). If I'm going to add more onto that bill, I have to be darn sure that this is the direction I want to go in AND that the Lord has for me (the second being more important).
Next week's episode: Discontentment. I'm excited. It's gonna be a doozy.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Feeling sick, another audition and broccoli cheese soup
I left work early today feeling very much like what my husband felt the other day- sick and rundown. I got home, was promptly sick, napped, rallied and then re-arranged the furniture in the living room. When you live in a small space (all 650 sq feet of it- including stairs), the cramped feeling can drive me nuts. So, I have to re-arrange every so often. Plus, it helps force you to clean the room, too.
I have another "audition" tomorrow. Maybe "audition" is the wrong word. The correct word would be an opportunity. I'm meeting with a vocal teacher from a local college to sing for her and discuss what she thinks of my voice. It's a great opportunity- kind of horrifying- but I am also incredibly excited. Fortunately, I've already explained how out-of-voice I am, so at least she won't be under any misconceptions about my voice. ... but still--- eek! I'll let you know how it goes!
I found a great new recipe for Creamy Broccoli Soup. It DOES have 2 tablespoons of flour, so it's not completely carb-free, but it's pretty close. Plus, Jesse liked it a lot. I figure if a MAN likes it, it's hardy enough.
Ingredients:
3 cups chicken broth
1 head of broccoli, cut up
1/2 onion, chopped
1 cup milk
2 tablespoons flour
1 cup shredded cheese (the recipe says optional, but I say "must have")
1/2 dried oregano
salt and pepper to taste
Directions:
1) Bring broth to boil. Add broccoli and onion. Cook for five minutes, or until broccoli is tender.
2) In a separate bowl, slowly add milk to flour, and mix until well-blended.
3) Stir flour/milk mixture into broth mixture. Cook, stirring constantly, until soup is thick and bubbly. Add cheese; stir til melted. Add seasonings. Done.
It's a really quick meal, and pretty dang good.
I have another "audition" tomorrow. Maybe "audition" is the wrong word. The correct word would be an opportunity. I'm meeting with a vocal teacher from a local college to sing for her and discuss what she thinks of my voice. It's a great opportunity- kind of horrifying- but I am also incredibly excited. Fortunately, I've already explained how out-of-voice I am, so at least she won't be under any misconceptions about my voice. ... but still--- eek! I'll let you know how it goes!
I found a great new recipe for Creamy Broccoli Soup. It DOES have 2 tablespoons of flour, so it's not completely carb-free, but it's pretty close. Plus, Jesse liked it a lot. I figure if a MAN likes it, it's hardy enough.
Ingredients:
3 cups chicken broth
1 head of broccoli, cut up
1/2 onion, chopped
1 cup milk
2 tablespoons flour
1 cup shredded cheese (the recipe says optional, but I say "must have")
1/2 dried oregano
salt and pepper to taste
Directions:
1) Bring broth to boil. Add broccoli and onion. Cook for five minutes, or until broccoli is tender.
2) In a separate bowl, slowly add milk to flour, and mix until well-blended.
3) Stir flour/milk mixture into broth mixture. Cook, stirring constantly, until soup is thick and bubbly. Add cheese; stir til melted. Add seasonings. Done.
It's a really quick meal, and pretty dang good.
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