Tonight I am angry. You ladies will know why so I will just hint that it is "lady troubles" and leave it at that. Jesse knows that it is lady trouble time, and he keeps his distance. I like that- in fact, this is what I asked him to do (that and ply me with chocolate, which he has done), but then when I see him enjoying himself alone, it angers me. Ah, lady time. In my mind, I see a hulked-out Madeleine, ready to "Maddie smash". It's up to Jesse to find the perfect balance of "I love you and will cuddle you, but not so much that you feel smothered, and I will not do anything to make you feel annoyed". Poor man. Good thing this doesn't last long.
I will also blame my poor eating choices today on my lady time. Well, poor 'choice' rather. I did really well at lunch (blackened chicken salad) and even better at dinner (salmon, green beans, mushrooms filled with cheese/pepperoni), but for breakfast... when I went into the kitchen at work, there sat a box of donuts. I wasn't going to "go nuts" with the donuts, but then I saw a vanilla-icing donut with happy little sprinkles. Sprinkles, it turns out, must be my downfall, because I had devoured the entire donut before I even remembered the "low-carb" thing. Donuts are low carb... right?
On to the topic of tonight, which isn't what I promised in the last entry (shhh....). Does anyone else have mad quantities of creative projects constantly circling through their minds? I swear- subconscious artistic me must be a crazy person. One second, I am intent on painting a winter miniature for our first Christmas card. The next, I am convinced I need to paint my desk. But wait- wasn't I going to finish that stained glass project? No, not until I master the art of watercoloring portraits. I can do that in a single painting, right? But wasn't I going to try acrylics? No- first the Christmas card. Or maybe the desk... AHHH!
Are creative sides naturally this sporadically ADD, or is it just mine? If the creative psyche were as organized as the logical psyche, it would get much more accomplished. Or maybe if the logical side just agreed to HELP the creative side once or twice. I envision my Logical Psyche as a businessman, balding but brilliant, fantastically organized down to his days-of-the-week underpants. He does not want to associate with Creative Psyche, who, I'm sorry to say, looks and acts like a meth addict and just wants to create, be it on a canvas with oils or a wall with spray paint. If the two could just team up and help each other create/organize more together, well then, we'd be somewhere. Maybe we wouldn't be featured at the Louvre, but we'd at least have a finished piece of art, instead of a dozen works-in-progress.
Or maybe it isn't that Logical Psyche isn't trying to help; maybe he is helping with all his might, but he's simply not strong enough to help out his crazed friend. That seems like it could be true of me. It's a good thing I'm married to Jesse, who is very organized. Hopefully, he can keep me calm and rational when all I want to do is fingerprint, but I have to go to work. :)
(By the way, he's doing a good job. He's happily working on his new work iPad yet still giving me a sweet little smile every so often).
Okay, thanks for reading. This is now the end of whatever this post was about (it seems to be about messed-up lady emotions and artistic angst).
I should try to work on the Christmas card idea.
Or maybe I should paint my desk?
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